2.10 Lessons I’ve Learned From My Latina Mom - The Latina Mom Legacy Podcast

Podcast Transcript

Vero:                           My mother has taught me to stand up for what’s right and voice my opinions and thoughts.

 

Monica:                       And family is always first. My mom always says, “Family first. Las hermanas siempre juntas.”

 

Suzy:                           En realidad, de mi madre y de mi abuela aprendí a que tengo que ser una mujer fuerte, una mujer independiente, una mujer trabajadora.

 

Ana:                            Y para ella era que nosotros tuviéramos lo que ella nunca tuvo.

 

Victoria:                      And my mom was a woman before her time.

 

Julissa:                        Así que mi mama lo hizo todo.

 

Ana:                            But what I love about her is --

 

Lauren:                        My mom has and always been there. She always shows up.

 

Victoria:                      You’ve taught me a lot of things that I can’t even remember.

 Janny Perez:                Feliz Dia De Las Madre, madre. Te quiero con toda mi alma.

 

Janny Perez:                You are listening to episode 10, season 2 of The Latina Mom Legacy Podcast. What life lessons have you learned from your Latina mom? On today’s show, I have 9 Latinas across North America, including mi hija Victoria and I, that share some of the biggest lessons we’ve learned from our mom. Join us as laugh, cry, and look back at our childhoods while celebrating the most influential person in our lives, our madres. Asi que no te lo pierdas!

 

                                    You’re listening to the Latina Mom Legacy Podcast where we empower moms raising bilingual kids, talk about growing up Hispanic and tradiciónes, and celebrate madrehood. It’s time to keep it real. Learn tips and tricks from other moms like you and start creating a legacy your abuela would be proud of. If you’re a Latina mom, or have a multi-cultural family like mine, then you’re in the right place. I am your host, proud immigrant daughter, rockstar wife, mom to five-year-old Victoria Grace --

 

Victoria:                      Soy yo!

 

Janny Perez:                -- Mi LegaSi founder and cafesito-lover, Janny Perez. Hola. Hola. How are you? I hope that you’re doing well. I hope that you had a great Mother’s Day. I hope that you were able to spend time with your familias. I hope that you felt loved. I hope that you got lots and lots of hugs. I think that’s, at the end of the day, that’s what we all want, right? We just want to feel loved. I had a great Mother’s Day. We went out hiking because that’s what I wanted to do, and it was fun. Then, we came home and we had a nice dinner. We grilled. We had steak. We had wine.

It’s funny, though. I was thinking about mi suegra. Mi suegra is in town. And, a veces, we butt heads, chocamos. And I realized yesterday, as I was reflecting and missing my mom because my mom is in Florida, and we were actually scheduled to be down there for Mother’s Day. And I was just reflecting and thinking about my mom.

And, looking at my husband’s mom, I realized that she has a lot of traits from Latina moms. Ella es una mujer fuerte. She’s a warrior. She also immigrated to the States much later in life, actually, and she did that for her son. And that’s a big sacrifice, to leave behind everything that you know and you’ve worked so hard to and leave your country, to be with your son. And she did that.

 

So it doesn’t matter whether you’re Latina or wherever it is that you’re from. As moms in general we make so many sacrifices for the sake of our kids. And it just made me empathize a little bit more. And it made me happy that my husband was spending Mother’s Day with his mom because, at the end of the day, aunque me vuelve loca, it was a very nice experience for him to have. So I’m very grateful and thankful that she was here, and she was able to spend time with us.

 

                                    So, yes, it was good. It was good. Today’s show is going to be awesome. I think you will love it. I hope that it resonates with you. That it touches your hearts and makes you love your moms a little bit more, your mothers figures, or your abuelas, or your tías. Because these are very powerful women in our lives, and they help mold us into the women and mothers we are today.  So espero que les guste y nada. I’ll see you around. Ciao. Ciao. What lessons have you learned from your Latina mom?

 

Vero:                           Hola. Soy Vero, aka the Nene Bilingüe mami from the blog Nene Bilingüe. I’m here reflecting on this Mother’s Day, a day that many of us cannot be face to face with our moms or our mother figures in our lives. I, like many of you, look forward to our phones calls or a chance to FaceTime here and there. I thank my mother and grandmother for helping mold me in the mujer I am today. My grandmother has taught me to have God present in everything I do, be grateful and acknowledge my blessings. This year, I’m happy to say that my family is safe and healthy. I mean, that’s a hundred blessings in itself, right?

 

My mother has taught me to stand up for what’s right and voice my opinions and thoughts, though this may be difficult at times and maybe even a bit confrontational. I mean, some of you may know how I may get. All in all, I know my voice matters and what I have to say is important. And, for that, I thank my mom. To my mom, Maria, and my grandmother, Pimo, I thank them for helping me be the best mom I can be and for continuing their legacy. I’m blessed they are still around and my children have a bond with them too. I see my own children, and I hope to instill that fire and passion in them. I mean, the legacy must go on, right? Y, con eso, me gustaría decirles a mi mami y a mi abuela que las amo tanto y feliz Dia de las Madres.

 

Janny Perez:                Thank you, Vero, for reminding us that we come from a long line of generations of passion and fire and that that passion and fire can be passed on from generation to generation. Be sure to check out the Nene Bilingüe website and blog. Nene Bilingüe seeks to provide every bilingual home the tools and resources to promote language-learning development. She has an amazing blog, guys. And, if you want to raise bilingual kids, she will give you lots and lots of resources. Vero, thank you so much. What lessons have you learned from your Latina mom?

 

Monica:                       Hi, I’m Monica from NYCTechMommy.com, and some of the lessons that I’ve learned from my Latina mom are that family is everything, those are the people that you can depend on most in life, and hard work and dedication is what brings you to great things in life. Growing up and just seeing my mom work hard, she was a work-at-home mom, seamstress. And she always found ways to have her own little business at home sewing, so that she could stay home with us, since family was what was most important to her.

 

And, just watching her, I knew that, as a parent, I really had to step it

1. I always, growing up, thought about what I would be as a parent, and I knew that I really had to be that parent who was involved with my kid, where family came first, where I would work hard for them. But they would always be my first priority. Just seeing my mom work hard and have that dedication to her family and also to her work, I feel molded me into the person that I became and the person that I am as a mom.

 It took us a long before we decided to have children. We, actually, were married for about nine years before we had my son. And that was by choice because we knew, or I knew, that when I did become a mom, I had to be full on dedicated to my child. So I was a working mom when I had my son. Eventually, when I had my daughter six years later, I decided to stay home with them, and I became the work-at-home-mom. And it’s so funny because I kind of became my mom. I never thought that I would be working at home. But just seeing her through all the years while I was growing up, working hard and dedicating nights to working, so that she could spend her days with us. And, now, that’s me.

 

And family is always first. My mom always says, “Family first. Las hermanas siempre juntas.” I only have one sister and she’s my best friend, and that is because my mom always made me sure that we were reunited. And she tells us this all the time, “Las hermanas siempre unidas.”

Janny Perez:                How have you become like your Latina mom?

Monica:             My mom always says, “Otro poquito.” She sits. She cooks all day. And we sit down to eat, and you have a plate of food. And one plate is never enough. Otro poquito. Otro poquito. And it’s funny because now, when I serve my kids, I’m always asking them, “Do you want more?” And they’re like, “No, mom, I’m full already.” And I always have to stop myself and remind myself it’s okay if they don’t eat anymore. They don’t have to eat more. Because growing up it was like finish everything on your plate, y otro poquito.

 

Monica:             My mom was, I think, my biggest partner in crime when I was a teenager. My dad worked nights which meant that he slept most of the day. So my mom would be with us all day, and she was the cool mom who would let my friends come over, have a pizza party, put on the makeup that my dad didn't see. She took us to casinos for the first time. I don’t even think I was 21 yet. And she was my biggest partner in crime. She pierced my ear, like a second piercing, I think, when I was 15. All these things that she did kind of as the cool mom. And my dad never found out.

 

                        And, now that I have a daughter, I always wonder. I’m like, “Am I going to be that cool mom for my daughter?” because that meant a lot to me. I think it kept me out of trouble because it was okay to do things with my mom. And, when I think about it now with my daughter, I’m like, “Oh, my God. I hope that I can be that mom,” because it’s hard. Sometimes you want to be that parent who says, “No, that’s not okay. You’re too young for that.” But think I learned from her that sometimes it’s okay to let go a little bit. And I feel l like she was supervising us, so she knew that it was okay rather than us being out there en la calle, haciendo lo que sea, you know, on our own.

 

I realize that now, that she was the cool mom because she wanted to make sure that we were okay and being safe. She doesn’t realize it, and I probably don't tell her enough that she was the cool mom. Mamita, te quiero mucho, muchisimo. Eres la mejor mamita del

                        mundo. Gracias por mostrarme como la familia es lo más importante y como ser mama. Todo lo que soy hoy es porque lo aprendí de la mejor mama del mundo. Gracias mami. Feliz Día de la Madre.

 

Janny Perez:                Thank you, Monica, for sharing that the heart of the Latina mom is her family. You can check out Monica’s site, NYCTechMommy.com, where she shares amazing home-learning resources and ideas to help parents navigate being home with the kids.

                        Believe me, we need all the help we can get. Thank you for sharing, Monica. What lessons have you learned from your Latina mom?

 

Suzy:               Hola, mi nombre es Nubia Susana Salazar [sp]. Tengo una compañía que se llama Really Natural by Sue. Mi compañía es de jugos naturales de frutas y vegetales. En realidad, de mi madre y de mi abuela aprendí a que tengo que hacer una mujer fuerte, una mujer independiente, una

                        mujer trabajadora que no tiene que esperar nada de nadie. Si no que lo que quiero yo, me lo tengo que buscar yo. Y por esos consejos y ese ejemplo que ella dos me dieron, es que yo estoy donde estoy. Tengo mi propio negoció, y sigo siempre adelante independientemente.

 

Janny Perez:                How have you become like your Latina mom?

 

Suzy:                           Soy igual que mi abuela en ese aspecto. En ese aspecto me encanta cocinar. Me encanta cocinarle a toda mi familia. A mí me encanta la sopa que a mi abuela le encantaba cocinar sopas, especialmente cuando estaba caliente. Cuando le temperatura está caliente. Mis hijos detestan que les cocine sopa en el verano, pero a mí, aquí en esta casa, no puede faltar la sopa en el verano y en el invierno. En cualquier etapa del año, aquí se comen sopa. Y eso, yo siento, que me hacer ser una mujer como muy Latina. Eso es algo muy de mi abuela, y me encanta cocinar. Siempre estoy metida en la cocina.

 

Desde mi corazón, le deseo a mi abuela, que ya no está aquí con nosotros, a mis dos abuelas, un feliz Dia de la Madre en el cielo y uno a mi mama con todo mi corazón, y que siempre es una mujer muy especial para mí. La quiero. La admiro, y la adoro.

 

Janny Perez:                Gracias, Suzy, por compartir and for reminding us that we come from strong women who just so happen to be amazing cooks. You can find Suzy’s 100 percent natural, organic juices at reallynaturalbysue.com. And, if you’re in the New Jersey area, juices can be delivered to your door. I’m really excited that my deliveries will be starting soon.

 

                        This mami break is brought to you by Mi LegaSi Shop. Mi LegaSi Shop is a marketplace that I personally created that celebrates our Latinx heritage and promotes Spanish language learning. You can shop our best-selling onesies or child tees with sayings like “Sana, Sana, Colita de Rana.” Tell the world, “I’m not a regular mom, I’m a Latina mom,” with one of our eco-friendly totes. Or you can also download print-at-home flashcards and educational material that will help your child learn Español. Use promocode pod25, or P-O-D-2-5, and get 25 percent off your first order. That’s Mi LegaSi Shop, spelled M-I-L-E-G-A-S-I, Shop.com. No te lo pierdas.

Janny Perez:                What lessons have you learned from your Latina mom?

 

Victoria:                      So, since our conversation last night, I’ve been thinking what does my mom mean to me. What has she instilled in me? What I’ve become because of her. And my mom was a woman before her time. She was a champion of the underdog. She was always willing to put herself first and foremost to help anyone. She’d give you the shirt off her back. She literally moved four young children and herself away from everything she knew to give us a better life because she knew that if we stayed in Bakersville -- not anything about Bakersville, just the area were were in was not conducive to what she wanted her children to be. We’re not by any means -- I’m a doctor, a lawyer, you know?

 

                         My brother works in the medical field. My sister worked for a long time for Cottage Hospital in Santa Barbara. My sister Mona is -- she’s the rebel of the group. Myself, Mary, my husband that I met when I was 17. We’ve been together ever since. We have 3 kids. We’ve been through some rough spots. But because of my faith instilled in me by my mom, we were able to come through it. Unfortunately, our grandson passed away, and that hurt a lot. That was a really, really hard time. And I still feel it. Then my mom passed within a year, so it was worse. It was just -- but my faith. What my mom instilled in me, my faith, has kept me and mine safe.

 

My mom, my mom was my rock. And my kid say I’m their rock, and it gives me comfort to know that I’m following in my mom’s steps of being the rock for our kids. But I give them enough independence that they are able to do and move around this world. And I hope that they have learned through us not to leave such a hard imprint on this earth and respect her but also fight for your causes but do it smart.

 

Child voice:                 Nana, happy Mother’s Day, Nana.

 

Victoria:                      Feliz Dia de las Madres.

 

Janny Perez:                Thank you, Victoria, for sharing that the foundations we create have a big impact on our children. Somos piedras. And without a good foundation, we simply crumble. What lessons have you learned from your Latina mom?

 

Julissa:                        Hola, amigos, les habla Julissa, y so la fundadora de Le Escuelita de Sofia. Le Escuelita de Sofia es una escuela preescolar bilingüe aquí en el Bronx. Y es un placer para mi compartir con ustedes sobre mí y sobre mi mama. Yo soy de padres ecuatorianos. Mi mama vino a este país sola. Mama era un inmigrante. Vino sola, y después trajo a mis otros siete hermanos. Si, oyeron bien.

                        Soy una de ocho, y so la menor. Mi mama vino a los estados unidos embarazada de mí, y trabajo -- por muchos años trabajo muy, muy duro en diferente cosa. Mi mama vendía Avon. Mi mama vendía Tupperware. Mi mama vendía joyas. Incluso también ella fue costurera en la época de cuando había tantos, tantos empleos de índole aquí en Nueva York. Así que mi mama lo hizo todo.

 

Y por eso, por la manera que mi mama era y continúa haciendo porque, aunque tenga casi -- aunque tenga mi mama 80-y-pico de anos, ella continúa, continúa trabajando. Así que una de las cosas, o mucha de las cosas que aprendí de mi mama fue ser una persona triunfadora, una persona que se esfuerza, una persona que no se de por vencida, y que continua, continúa trabajando, luchando. Así que definitivamente soy una persona luchadora por mi mama, y se lo agradezco con toda el alma, así como estoy segura que mucha de ustedes lo están con sus mamas. Verdad?

 

Así que le quiero desear a mi madre y a todas las madres de Nueva York un feliz Dia de las Madres. Y que podamos nosotras, como somos hispanas, latinas, podamos compartir nuestras historias con otras personas. Que podamos compartir nuestra cultura, nuestro idioma, que es el español, un idioma tan rico que nos une a todos, todos los hispanos aquí en Nueva York. Así que, nuevamente, quiero decir feliz Dia de las Madres a mi madre María, esta en la Florida, y a todas las madres de aquí de Nueva York. Gracias por tenerme en este programa.

 

Janny Perez:                Gracias, Julissa, for confirming that we come from guerreras, fighters, warriors, that we are taught that nothing is given in life, and we have to fight for what we want. And that’s okay. Lucha. I am happy to share that Julissa has really stepped it up for our community. And, because of the Coronavirus, is offering a virtual bilingual program for ages three to six. They do a lot of music and movement, dramatic play, cooking and baking, science experiments, math games y mucho mas. Everything is in English and Spanish. For more information you can visit www.laescuelitadesofia.com. Gracias, Julissa. What lessons have you learned from your Latina mom?

 

Ana:                            Hola, Mi LegaSi. Como estas? Thank you, thank you so much for inviting to share about my mom. My name is Ana, and I’m known on Instagram as Spanglishoiler. I’m from Canada, and my parents are from El Salvador. So such a pleasure to be able to share about my mom and wish her a happy Mother’s Day or share about her a little bit more.

 

So I’m -- just wanted to share that my mom is an amazing mom. La influencia que ella tuvo sobre mi es gigante. Obviously, right? She’s my mom. But what I love about her is her faith in God, and that was a big thing, a big deal for me growing up. Nos llevaba a iglesia, caminamos a la iglesia, and we spent our time there on Sundays. Y después, una memoria tan linda es que después de ir al iglesia -- y bajamos al basement de la iglesia y ahí tenían empanadas y cositas

buenas así. Y entonces, nos sentábamos a comer y platicar y todo eso. Y otra vez para la casa. Pero siempre platicando, y ella nos contaba muchas historias, especialmente de cuando estaba pequeña ella.

 

Anyways, we always had such a a great time with my mom and all the stories she shared with us. Otra cosa que me ah enseñado que me a ayudado muchísima a mi vida es como ella trabajaba, el ejemplo de ella. Entonces ella siempre trabajaba muchísimo, pero era siempre con un propósito. Entonces, that’s a big deal, always working with a purpose. Y, para ella, era que nosotros tuviéramos lo que ella nunca tuvo. To me, I’ll always, always be grateful for that.

 

                        I want to wish her a happy Mother’s Day, feliz Dia de las Madres. feliz Dia de las Madres a ti también. And hope you guys all have a wonderful, wonderful Mother’s Day. Bye.

 

Janny Perez:                Thank you, Ana, for sharing that the stories we share not only impact hearts but stand the test of time and that as madres we want our kids to do better and go farther y que tengan lo que nosotras nunca pudimos tener. Gracias, Ana. Ana Chapman is a wellness advocate. She can help you improve health, reduce stress, and better your overall wellbeing through dōTERRA essential oils. You can connect with her at mydoterra.com/anachapman. Gracias, Ana. What lessons have you learned from your Latina mom?

 

Lauren:                        My name is Lauren Alvarez, and the greatest lesson I’ve learned from my Latina mother is unconditional love. Unconditional love in the sense that she clearly displayed it through compassion, never-ending support, and sacrifice. I say unconditional love in a general reference because I believe it encompasses so many other qualities. I wouldn’t say I’m the most religious, but one scripture from the Bible I truly adore is I Corinthians 13. “Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preservers.”

 

                        While we hear these verses quite frequently at wedding ceremonies, or we’ve seen it written in love letters, I can’t say I’ve experienced this type of love from anyone else on this earth other than my mother. I was a very active kid growing up. God bless her soul. From the age of three, I took up ballet folklorico. And, as I transitioned into my pre-teens, I was the ultimate tomboy of all the tomboys that you can actually imagine. I mean, I am proud of it I will say. I played every sport. I loved basketball the most. And though I went from being a girly-girl kid to a tomboy adolescent, I was never expected to be anything other than myself. And she reaffirmed me all the time.

 

                        I never once was told to put a dress on or that I needed to be more girly. She never forced me to adhere to expectations society rather had put on me. I was loved and accepted for who I was, which goes an extremely long way when you’re trying to navigate some life-defining years. As I got older, experienced more fundamental moments of my life, high school and college, she was there. Time and time again proving her self-less character. Whether it was getting a ride to a study session at my classmate’s house in preparation of dreaded AP tests, which I failed on all of them, or helping me move into a college dorm knowingly that she did not want me to leave the house ever.

 

                        And, now, calling her 40 times asking her about when do I throw this food item away. I do not know, mother. Help me. My mom has and always been there. She always shows up, and showing up is everything. Showing up, helping in her fullest capacity, and doing it without judgement always translated into unconditional love for me. I’ve always been a free spirit, maybe too much. But I can’t help to think what my childhood would’ve been like without the foundation my mother provided.

 

                        Would I have rebelled if she raised me differently? Would I be where I’m at now pursuing a creative profession in the midst of an ever-changing industry without judgement, especially in a pandemic right now where my job is at risk more than ever? She is there with open arms and open ears. She never shames me for my mistakes, tribulations, or self-destructive thoughts, which is truly transcending in all forms. It is the greatest gift I have ever received.

 

                        Oprah once said, “I believe the choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is, to create an environment that’s stimulating and nurturing, to pass on a sense of responsibility to another human being, to raise a child who understands that he or she is created from good and is capable of anything. I know for sure that few callings are more honorable. To playdown mothering as small is to crack the very foundation on which greatness stands.” In a different instance, she also said the following,

                        “We should no longer allow mothers to be defined as just a mom. It is on her back that great nations are built. We should no longer allow any woman’s voice to be drowned out or disregarded.”

 

                        These words are so profound. She literally said, “It is on her back that great nations are built.” Holy crap. If we all got present to what that actually means, that is so powerful. Mothers are powerful. Mothers, in retrospect, women everywhere aren’t acknowledged enough. I believe the world would be a better place if people took more notes from mothers and their thankless roles. Their essence alone is truly transformational, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I think a mother’s love is the most unconditional love of them all. Not to mention they are the greatest spiritual teachers of our lifetime. So to my spiritual teacher, I love you. Te amo, mama.

 

Janny Perez:                Thank you, Lauren, for showing us that we are capable of breaking negative cultural patterns, that we have the power to love and accept unconditionally without judgment. And that is, in fact, the greatest gift of all. Lauren Alvarez is a hip-hop journalist, producer, and curator. You can check out her blog at  laurenalvarez.com or connect with her on IG @champagnelali. Thanks so much, Lauren. What lessons have you learned from your Latina mom?

 

Victoria:                      You’ve taught me how to do an “S” right. You’ve taught me a lot of things that I can’t even remember. You’ve showed me how to cook.

 

Janny Perez:                What does your mami mean to you?

 

Victoria:                      It means to me that I love my mom so much because she’s part of everything. She loves me and kisses me, but I love her even more than she knows. I know I love you a hundred percent, Mr. Goober.

 

Janny Perez:                Mr. Goober.

 

Victoria:                      What about Mr. Goober?

 

Janny Perez:                Te quiero.

 

Victoria:                      Te quiero mucho. Feliz Dia de las Madres.

 

Janny Perez:                Okay, go. Get out of here. What lessons have you learned from your Latina mom?

 

                        My mom, mi madre, has taught me that being patient will win you many battles. And while I do remember flying chanclas every now and then, my mom never yelled. I wish I could say the same, to be honest. My mom taught me that what we have, we can share and, when you go to help someone, tú haces el bien y no mires a quien, that we give with our hearts and expect nothing in return, that life will take care of multiplying your blessings. She taught me that humildad es lo más bonito que tiene una persona, humility is the most beautiful thing a person can have. And that no matter where you are in life, you should be humble.

 

                        Perhaps the biggest lesson she’s taught me is to believe that the impossible is possible as long as you believe in something bigger than yourself. That, even in your darkest hours, you are never alone. And while I do feel alone on this Mother’s Day without my mami, without looking at her face to face and telling her, “Mami, te quiero,” my heart is full because I can look at my daughter and tell her, “Mamita, te quiero.”

 

Mami, gracias por todos tus sacrificios. Gracias por toda tu sabiduría. Y aunque yo sé que tus sueños nunca se hicieron realidad, quiero que sepas que el sueno de ser gran madre si lo lograste. Eres una madre única, y le doy gracias a Dios por escogerte para mí. Dichosa soy.

                        Feliz Dia de las Madres, madre. Te quiero con toda mi alma.

 

                        The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines mother as the female parent. But we are so much more. Mothers are rocks. Mother are warriors. Mothers are walking stories. Mothers are even chefs. Though you may not have had a role-model mother growing up, today we were reminded that we have the power to break cycles and become better role models for our children. May this episode remind you of the impact a mother’s love has on her child no matter the age. Tell your mami you love her, y por favor go take a picture with her. Happy Mother’s Day.

 

                        Thank you for listening to another episode of the Latina Mom Legacy Podcast. To connect with any of today’s guests, please check out the show notes or visit thelatinamomlegacy.com and click on today’s episode. Como siempre, mil gracias and if you liked listening to today’s episode, can you share it with a friend or leave a positive review? Reviews are the way the podcast can get visibility and empower other moms to connect, create, and carry on our Latinx heritage.

Un beso, un abrazo, y hasta la próxima. Ciao, ciao.

What do you want your legacy to be?

 

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