Oh, Valentine's Day, El Dia de Los Enamorados as we Latinos call it. An event to celebrate your love and affection, your union to your loved one, and all that blah blah blah. Do you know what I really want? Peace and quiet. Alone time. A tantrum free, whine-free day with little to no worries. As I lay here, sick from a cold writing (because being sick means nothing as a mom), it got me thinking about the best and worst gifts or gifts that I've never gotten that I wish I've gotten. For the record, they're not specifically from Valentine's Day, but that would make amazing gifts nonetheless and some I gifted to myself. Yes, no shame in that either!
I'm talking about the real kind of sleep, where you actually dream, sleep for 8 hours uninterrupted, and wake up not knowing where you are cause it was so good kind of sleep. I average about 6-7 hours of mediocre to decent sleep. Sometimes it's my crying 3-year old that needs to go pee pee in the middle of the night, or my scared dog walking in because of the rain, or my snoring husband that makes my sleep, well suck. Take them out of the picture and well, you have amazing sleep! But that's not quite realistic.
My only, and I don't say this lightly, saving grace is my bed. I LOVE my bed. My mattress cost a fortune and it was the best investment I've ever made! So dads, partners, if you want to gift your wifey an amazing gift for Valentine's Day, start with an amazing mattress! Here's the catch, she has to try it out first. I tested out every single mattress in 3 stores until I fell in love, of course with the most expensive. But you know what, I got a payment plan with no interest and in a few years paid it off. It was worth every single penny.
It has been my experience, after 2 serious relationships, and multiple boyfriends, that a lot (can't say all) of men simply don't like giving "homey" stuff as gifts. Um, excuse me guys, do you realize that many moms spend a whole lot of time at home and we like to have nice things that make our home experience feel like the Ritz Carlton instead of a Motel 6?
Take note gentlemen and partners, Egyptian Cotton high thread count sheets or the super soft jersey ones...mmm. If it feels soft and amazing to the touch, we will love them! Just don't get them in white please, unless you're loaded, and can splurge for a new set in a month after the kids decide to marker all over them. We love comfy sheets.
Show me you love me by taking the kids out for the day and give me a day at the spa. Yes, I'd love a massage, a facial, a cellulite treatment, and while you're at it, I can get a hair cut, and my nails done all while sipping champagne. Hey, don't you want me to look good for hanky panky? A day for me is great and I desperately need it.
While I'm getting pampered, you can hire a cleaning service to clean the house. Nothing gets closer to my heart than a clean home and if I don't have to do the dirty work, woo hoo. I promise I won't be too picky. Yes, it won't be perfect, but at least it'll be better and less work and that's a truly beautiful and dare I say romantic gesture!
Going to a restaurant with the kids is not exactly my idea of a romantic evening. Going to a restaurant and waiting in line for hours as a couple is not my idea of a romantic evening. Skip the restaurant on Valentine's Day and take me on a less busy night where we don't have to pay the sitter $100 for a 4-hour meal ordeal.
Instead, cook for me, order one of those pre-prepped meals like from Blue Apron or the many others. I want to see you suffer a little, lol. Unless you're like my sister's husband who does all the cooking anyway, there's no fun in that! Seriously, it's nice to be served, eat a warm meal, and be catered to. We'll feel appreciated.
When the kid throws a massive tantrum and I tell you about my shitty day, don't say you're sorry, buy me flowers. When I spent my day cleaning up poop and doing laundry, buy me flowers. When I'm sad, PMSing, and irritable about life, buy me flowers. Buy me flowers when I need them, NOT when you think you're supposed to get them. I mean, I'll appreciate them either way but they'll be extra special on those random nonholiday days. Just saying.
I don't need cards that sing, cards that have video, or cards with poems that someone else wrote. I want to know what you think, how you feel, what you have to say. Tell me 5 things you appreciate about me, 5 things you love about me, why you think I'm a good mom or wife. It doesn't have to be fancy, it can be on a lined piece of paper, but because you took the time to write it down instead of just signing your name to someone else's words I'll treasure it for the rest of my days.
There you have it. If you're not sure what to get your loved one on Valentine's Day, I promise you, most moms would love any of these gifts. Skip the chocolate (unless its the really good stuff), flowers, and cards, and opt for something more thoughtful. As moms, we simply want to feel appreciated, pampered, and loved. Since hints aren't always perceived you now have an actual list to go by. Oh, and moms, you may want to accidentally forward this post...hint, hint ;)
Happy Valentine's Day! Feliz Dia de Los Enamorados!