Subscribe on Apple Podcasts & Spotify
Does This Sound Like You, Amiga?
Do you want to pass down Spanish and your cultura to your children, but sometimes feel like your Spanish isn't “good enough”?
Do you ever wonder if you're doing enough as a mamá or feel guilty because English keeps taking over?
Or have you inherited family rules about what you can talk about, how much you should sacrifice, or what a “good mother” is supposed to look like?
In this episode, we're going deeper than bilingual parenting strategies. We're talking about the cultural messages many of us inherited and how they can shape the way we see ourselves, our Spanish, our motherhood, and even our worth.
What You'll Discover in This Episode
In this episode, I sit down with Latina mom, author, award-winning filmmaker, and keynote speaker Denise Soler Cox to talk about the cultural rules and expectations many of us inherit and how they can shape the way we see ourselves, our motherhood, and what we pass down to our children.
We talk about Denise growing up with Spanish as “the language of secrets,” the shame of feeling like her Spanish wasn't good enough, and the moment her husband encouraged her to teach her daughters the 80% she knew instead of waiting for perfection. We also explore “What Will They Say?” / “Qué dirán,” the pressure Latina women feel to sacrifice themselves, the mother-daughter relationship, and the connection between language and our sense of enoughness.
This is a powerful conversation about breaking cycles, embracing what makes us who we are, and choosing what we want to carry forward and what we're ready to leave behind.
About Denise Soler Cox
Denise Soler Cox is a Latina mom, author, award-winning filmmaker, and keynote speaker dedicated to helping Latinas confront cultural taboos, reclaim their power, and embrace their identity. She is the author of What Will They Say? Confront Cultural Taboos and Discover Your Inner Power.
Timestamps & What You'll Discover
[05:57] — When Spanish Became the Language of Secrets
Denise shares what it meant to grow up hearing her parents speak Spanish when they didn't want their children to understand and how that shaped her relationship with the language later in life.
[09:09] — “Teach Them the 80% You Know”
The moment Denise's husband challenged her to stop waiting for perfect Spanish and start sharing what she already knew with their daughters.
[12:12] — When Spanish Becomes a Source of Shame
Why being judged for an accent, vocabulary, or imperfect Spanish can make us afraid to speak—and why creating a safe, judgment-free environment matters.
[14:47] — Passing Down More Than Spanish
Denise explains the value systems she wants her daughters to inherit, including collectivism, self-reliance, compassion, and the ability to understand both cultures.
[19:20] — “What Will They Say?” / Qué Dirán
How the rule of staying quiet can prevent us from talking about difficult things, processing pain, and figuring out what we actually believe for ourselves.
[22:33] — Taking Things Apart
Why we sometimes need permission to examine the things we've inherited—and how therapy and self-reflection can help us begin to untangle them.
[25:08] — When Sacrifice Becomes a Badge of Honor
The pressure Latina women can feel to prove their love through exhaustion, self-sacrifice, and putting everyone else first—and why Denise believes we need to rethink what we call “good motherhood.”
[27:08] — What Our Daughters Learn by Watching Us
Why modeling self-care, self-advocacy, and prioritizing our own wellbeing can be more powerful than simply telling our daughters what we want them to believe.
[28:59] — When “Not Enough” Gets Tangled With Spanish
Denise explains how her feelings of not being enough became connected to her lack of Spanish fluency—and why separating those two things is so important.
[33:50] — The Mother-Daughter Wound
Denise opens up about the most difficult chapter of her book and what she discovered about the relationship with her mother, healing, and the pressure to be a “good enough” daughter.
[38:31] — “I Stopped Believing in My Own Brokenness”
How forgiving herself for her imperfections changed the way Denise experienced other people's judgment—including criticism about her Spanish.
[41:35] — Putting Yourself Back on the List
Denise's advice for the woman who feels like she's failing: make something, create, walk, play music, cook, or simply do something for the joy of doing it.
[47:26] — The Fast Round
Denise shares her favorite Spanish word, a Puerto Rican food tradition she wants to pass down, what she learned growing up Latina, and the legacy she hopes to leave her daughters.
Quick Bilingual Parenting Takeaways
- You don't need perfect Spanish to pass it down. Share what you know and let your Spanish grow alongside your child's.
- Shame makes language harder to pass down. Creating a safe, judgment-free environment gives both you and your child room to learn and use Spanish.
- Your worth isn't measured by your fluency. Feeling “not enough” can become tangled with language, but your Spanish ability does not define your value as a mamá.
- Your children learn from what you model. When they see you care for yourself, advocate for yourself, and make space for your own wellbeing, you're teaching them what it means to value themselves.
- You get to choose what you pass on. You can honor your cultura, values, and traditions while letting go of the rules and expectations that no longer serve your familia.
Memorable Quotes
“As soon as I forgave myself for my own imperfections, their comment didn't affect me anymore.”
— Denise Soler Cox
“You are not broken. You are brilliant.”
— Denise Soler Cox
“Some Spanish is better than no Spanish.”
— Janny Pérez
“We really are from here and we're from there. Using that to our advantage and getting the best of both worlds really will make us whole and will make us feel like we're enough.”
— Janny Pérez
Resources Mentioned in the Episode
What Will They Say? Confront Cultural Taboos and Discover Your Inner Power
Denise Soler Cox's book exploring the cultural rules and taboos that can keep Latina women silent and disconnected from their own power.
The book is available in English and Spanish, with audio versions in both languages.
Denise recommends supporting your local bookstore and, when possible, a Latina- or woman-of-color-owned bookstore.
Free Confident Bilingual Parenting Masterclass
Want to stop second-guessing yourself and start building a bilingual parenting approach that actually works for your familia?
Join Janny for the free Confident Bilingual Parenting Masterclass on September 29th.
Go to milegasi.com, click on the Masterclass link, and save your spot.
Latina Moms Raising Bilingual Kids
Join Janny's free private Facebook community for support, bilingual parenting tips, conversations with other mamás, and free resources to help you raise confident bilingual and bicultural kids.
Mi Legasi
Explore free bilingual parenting resources, printables, tips, and guides at milegasi.com.
Connect With Janny
Instagram: @milegasi
Threads: @milegasi
Podcast Instagram: @thelatinamomlegacy
Pinterest: @milegasi
Website: milegasi.com
Connect With Denise Soler Cox
Follow Denise on social media: @DeniseSolerCox
Her book, What Will They Say? Confront Cultural Taboos and Discover Your Inner Power, is available wherever books are sold, including in Spanish and English audio editions.
Interested in Sponsoring The Latina Mom Legacy?
The Latina Mom Legacy reaches parents who are intentionally raising bilingual and bicultural children while navigating the realities of modern family life.
Interested in reaching this engaged community?
Get in touch to learn about sponsorship opportunities.
Final Thoughts
Amiga, you don't need perfect Spanish, a perfect plan, or a perfect past to create something beautiful for your children. You can honor the parts of your cultura that make you proud while letting go of the things that no longer serve you.
Because the legacy we leave isn't just about what we pass down—it's also about what we choose to change. You get to decide what your children carry forward.
About Janny Perez
Janny Perez is a bilingual parenting educator, coach, and host of The Latina Mom Legacy podcast.
As a multilingual mom herself, Janny helps Latina and multicultural families raise bilingual children with confidence, consistency, and connection to language and culture—even in English-dominant environments.
Through Mi Legasi, Janny teaches parents how to move beyond guilt and the pressure to do bilingual parenting perfectly, and instead create a flexible approach that works for their child, their family, and real life.
Learn more at milegasi.com
Leave a comment (all fields required)