First let me start by saying, I’m not rich. I’m Janny, a just turned 40 year old mom to a 3 year old, wife, working 2 jobs, paying bills, mustering enough energy to cook, clean, and get everything done—Not perfect, but done. Sound familiar? I dream of one day acquiring enough wealth to not have to worry about bills. I’m sure that sounds familiar too. However, the fact that I’m not rich (yet) has not stopped me from giving myself a gift to treasure for a lifetime and here’s why you should do the same.
As moms we put everyone and everything before ourselves. Do you find yourself thinking twice about buying something for yourself but never thinking twice if it’s for your kids or family? Do you feel like you never have time to take care of yourself, but you find time to take your kids to acivities, you find time to work a couple of extra hours, but maybe getting a proper mani-pedi is just not in the cards? I know I have been guilty of all those things.
It’s like once we have a child we give ourselves permission to put ourselves last. Why? Being a mom is a selfless act in itself. We grow and nurture a human for 10 months, even in the womb they dictate what we eat, our bodies feel like they don’t belong to us anymore, and we put our bodies through hell (at least I did). When they come into the world, they depend on us and we’re there for their every need, but many of us never reclaim ourselves back.
We’re trained for months, maybe years to be selfless and it’s easy, so easy to continue giving, giving, and giving and feeling exhausted, drained, and sometimes taken for granted . I’m guilty of going months without buying a single thing for myself or taking a true break, even if just for a day but never hesitating if my daughter or family need anything including taking time off...for them. How many of you or your moms were the same? My mom sacrificed going to school and many jobs to be a stay/work at home mom. She gave us the best that she could afford. In retrospect, I don’t remember seeing my mom buying herself anything or taking a break, she always put us first.
First of all, you need it and second of all, you are worthy of it. It’s ok to take a day off just for yourself, no kids, no husbands, no cooking, no cleaning, no nothing, but you are worthy of so much more. You are worthy of a gift to yourself from yourself that only you can create. If your child, partner is worthy of a $400 gadget, toy, a $1200 extra curricular activity, etc ask yourself, “what am I worthy of?”
You deserve to be happy and to be the recipient of something so great that feeds your soul. Ask yourself, “if I didn’t have any responsibilities, what would I be doing tht brings me joy?”
Because you’re constantly on the move with little sleep, you deserve 9, 10, or 11 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Ask yourself, “When was the last time I slept for 9 straight hours?”
Because you’re always busy taking care of others and waiting hand and foot (what it seems) on them, you deserve someone to wait hand and foot for you. Ask yourself, “Has someone ever served me.”
It’s not about the material stuff, it’s about saying it’s ok to indulge in something for yourself because you work damn hard and it’s ok to reward yourself. Ask yourself, “Have I ever bought somethig nice for myself?”
Because if you are not well, how can you expect to be well with others? Mental sanity starts with you and sometimes you need a time off. Ask yourself, “Am I a ticking time bomb?”
It’s important as moms to take a break, shut off, and rejuvinate ourselves. It may mean taking a trip far away (like me), or a weekend sabbatical, or ordering food delivery for 6 months, or a cleaning service for a year, or a top of the line mattress for rest, or it can also mean a simple getaway alone to reconnect with yourself. Your gift is as grand as you want it to be. With time and a little effort toward savings that goal is achievable. The main thing, is, know that you are worthy and deserving of it and it should make you very happy. If it feeds your soul even better!